Relics & Vestments

Print‑on‑demand ready. Hook these buttons to Shopify, Etsy, or Printful when you’re ready.

Velvet Testament zine cover

Velvet Testament (Zine)

24 pages of sacred nonsense and practical kindness. PDF or saddle‑stitched print.

$9 / $14
Minister certificate

Ordination Certificate

Instant printable. Includes the Rite of Blessing Small Creatures and Warm Machines.

$10
Sacred Paw hoodie

Hoodie of the Sacred Paw

Cozy armor for modern pilgrims. Print‑on‑demand in multiple colors and sizes.

$49

Want a full shop?

Point these buttons at a real cart by wiring fakeCheckout() to your e‑commerce provider... or embed your Etsy/Shopify widget here.

// Replace fakeCheckout with a real redirect
function checkout(item, price){
  window.location.href = "https://yourshop.com/checkout?sku=" + encodeURIComponent(item);
}